It’s a given

Who said you don’t use math in life after graduating high school or college? I was one of those people—until I realized that one phrase my teacher told me while learning Algebra would follow me the rest of my life.

I may not have used Algebra after school but that phrase—“It’s a given”—has shown up time and time again in how I deal with people, different settings, environments, learning styles, my children, and more.

In retrospect, I wasn’t the best test-taker. I wasn’t even considered average when it came to math. I got through the basics, but even that was challenging. I needed a tutor weekly just to remember what had been taught in class. Numbers gave me anxiety, and when it came time for tests, it was basically a coin toss whether I’d pass or not. That was just my reality, especially with the academic impairment I had.

Then Algebra was introduced.

At first, I thought, “Here we go—another math class I won’t understand.” But to my surprise, I did understand it. All because of something simple my teacher said: “It’s a given.”

I remember her voice as she explained, “What you do to one side, you do to the other.” That was the rule—the given. Somehow, it stuck with me. And not only did I do well in her class, but it surprisingly helped me in chemistry too—another class I was sure I’d fail. But thanks to a teacher who believed in me, I passed. (That’s a whole other blog post.)

Back to “It’s a given.” I can’t remember exactly when I started using this phrase as a way to regulate myself emotionally, but when I did, it helped me stay balanced and fair. Not all the time—let’s be real—I’ve had my share of moments where I reacted before thinking, lost self-control, or misunderstood a situation. But as I matured, “It’s a given” became a grounding reminder.

Now, I come into relationships and situations saying:

It’s a given this person is not from the same place I’m from.

It’s a given they may not hold the same values or morals.

It’s a given their environment is different.

It’s a given I may not be on the same intellectual level—or they may not be on mine.

It’s a given they may be struggling with something I can’t see.

It’s a given what’s true for me may not be true for them.

It’s a given people make mistakes.

People don’t always think before they act.

People may not care the way I do.

And my favorite: It’s a given they’re going through something, just like I am.

It’s a given. It’s a given. It’s a given…

Repeating that to myself has helped shift how I see people and interact with them. It’s probably why I don’t view the world the way others do. I genuinely try to see people the way Jesus sees them. Not perfectly—but intentionally.

As a believer of Jesus Christ, this way of thinking became more and more evident—especially in how I see people, the world, and handle circumstances. My prayer constantly is to put on the lens of Christ. It’s a given, I say, that people will not know Jesus, that they’ll make mistakes, oppose grace and mercy depending on the situation, or lack understanding when it’s something they haven’t personally gone through. It’s a given they may speak out of turn, lack empathy, or act without compassion. And that list could go on. It’s a list you can even jot down for yourself in your quiet time. But knowing Jesus has truly made the difference in how I respond—especially in that first response—because I want to reflect Him. I want others to see Him in me. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it is absolutely a daily goal I pursue.

I recently posted an old picture of myself eating at a restaurant in New Orleans. That day, I walked into a store and struck up a conversation with the owner, who was from another country. What started as a simple purchase ended with us taking a photo and sharing our stories. That’s what I love. In moments like that—before anything even happens—I quietly tell myself, “It’s a given.” It’s a given we’re from different places. It’s a given he may not want to engage in conversation. It’s a given he may not want to take a photo. Saying this helps me set my heart right and avoid disappointment or misplaced expectations—especially when I’m offering something someone else may not be in the space to return.

I believe every generation deals with a different set of circumstances, issues, problems, and people. It’s a different time frame, a different mindset—surrounded by different cultures and backgrounds. But one thing remains true in every generation: we are all human, and we all go through something in life. Whether it’s obvious or hidden, easy or hard, joyful or painful—it’s a given!

There’s something else I’ve come to realize: “It’s a given” is not just a mindset—it’s also a reflection of how God steps in.

When I think about it deeper, the phrase reminds me of God’s consistent nature. It’s a given that He is faithful, even when we are not. It’s a given that His grace is sufficient. It’s a given that He works all things together for our good—even the parts we don’t understand in the moment. It’s a given that He sees the heart, not just the actions. It’s a given that He knows what we need, even before we say it.

Every time I tell myself “It’s a given,” I’m unknowingly aligning my heart with the truth of who God is. I’m reminding myself that if God can extend unmerited grace, compassion, and patience toward me daily, then I can strive to do the same toward others. He doesn’t hold back His love depending on our mood, our past, or how polished we present ourselves. He gives it freely—and that is the ultimate “given.”

So now, when I walk into situations that feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable, I can rest knowing that not only is “It’s a given” a way to extend grace to others, but it’s also a reminder that God already stepped in before I even arrived. That He’s already at work, already present, already aware. That truth grounds me and gives me peace in moments that would otherwise feel overwhelming or disappointing.

And for that—I say, thank you, Lord… it’s a given.